Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off http://tfl.nu/w0tm
  Replies (2) Good night (562) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina. http://tfl.nu/q4iw
  Replies (56) Good night (3629) Bad night (1691)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now http://tfl.nu/tgtb
  Replies (27) Good night (8875) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled http://tfl.nu/uuon
  Replies (144) Good night (1136) Bad night (6531)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music. http://tfl.nu/kygq
  Replies (8) Good night (2626) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing http://tfl.nu/d7sz
  Replies (1) Good night (555) Bad night (1120)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia. http://tfl.nu/a7rk
  Replies (5) Good night (470) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex. http://tfl.nu/eztj
  Replies (8) Good night (1911) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris. http://tfl.nu/t2sy
  Replies (5) Good night (1004) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned. http://tfl.nu/4ebq
  Replies (6) Good night (672) Bad night (1893)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n http://tfl.nu/cubl
  Replies (4) Good night (1654) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's a Tuesday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+49): I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier! (303): It's a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/jt9q
  Replies (4) Good night (1450) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot http://tfl.nu/cjjt
  Replies (5) Good night (951) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls. http://tfl.nu/yq0i
  Replies (1) Good night (704) Bad night (204)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day http://tfl.nu/yw74
  Replies (0) Good night (555) Bad night (176)

Randomize