she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.