we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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