Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
