Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
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'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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