she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
