i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My hand turned me down
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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