get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
