Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
