Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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