I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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