Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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