hell yes lets make some ravioli
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Those nachos came to me in a dream
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
