you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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