And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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