i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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