Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
