Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize