HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
