sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
