He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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