im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
