btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
