Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
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