I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
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I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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