You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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