I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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