Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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