Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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