My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
