please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
