Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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