The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
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I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
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I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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