Only a mothe r could love this liver
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
