Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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