My Higher Power is John Stamos
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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