There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
