hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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