8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
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