What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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