didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
