i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
