so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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