My room smells like vodka and shame
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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