i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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