So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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