There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
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