And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
