There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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