i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
