u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
