I like my sex mixed with concussions.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
