You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
