he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
