Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
