you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
