Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
