That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
whose parrot is this?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
