so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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