did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
