he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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