I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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